Everydays with Gabbie

The Psych Ward

The Psych Ward
The Schiz, The Melancholic, The MR, The Exhibitionist, Plainly Gab

Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Medical Clerk's Starter Kit

Rodney goes: oi bili bili na kayo! oop ye mani-popcorn-carabiner-stapler-micropore-tape measure-calculatorpangpedia-penlight-torniquet-stethoscope-sphygmo kayo dyaaaan!! meron din po kaming empty coca cola bottles pang lalagyan niyo ng specimen para sa histopath!!

hehe haaay ang clerkship sa OM nga naman. so have you gone camping? diba before you go camping you get to have a checklist of what to bring, tent, sleeping bags, pork and beans, flashlight, playboy, etc...same thing for clerkship but this time no one's going to a boy scout camping but to a training camp apart from those mentioned by the vendor kanina here's what you will really need for clerkship (from my point of view ha as an incoming clerk and from what i also hear)

1. your brain...but you have to condition it. you have to melt those fatty acids (have u eaten pinapaitan or bulalo? diba pag iniwan mo nagsesebo siya...same thing with our brain, if it goes stagnant tipong nagsesebo utak natin). Right after finals what do you think everybody did? syempre vacation to the max forgetting all the worries of clerkship, tama nga naman we all need that if not then in just a snap (tipong nasigawan ka lng ng residente eh bigla ka na lng naging poltergeist na umikot ung ulo mo and nagsuka sa white coat ng residente)....which goes on to the next:
2. High...as in very high EQ...remember in the hospital the clerks are amoebae...the lowest form of creatures in the hospital setting. you are nobody but still keep in mind you will be someone...oxymoronic but true. its true when we arrived at medical school we felt like we were someone (uuy med student...doctor!), yes but little do our fans and future patients know of the perils we will have to go through just to become a low salary doctor...unless you establish your own belo medical group.
3. Condoms (for the ladies/ guys who have nice butts)- why so? there is a disease in the hierarchy system of which the symptoms include "power tripping." sa mga lalaki naman karamihan naman utusan or sigaw sigawan etc...but unfortunately for ladies, once natipuhan ka ng residente if he senses he wont be able to get you through the right way...there will be instances wherein he will use his power..wer..wer...that's why it wont be a new thing if you hear rumors/facts about clerks being pregnant, clerks giving the residents a "phuket massage," sad to say but this is true...thats why i tell you: know your rights as a woman/man, and review Solis' medical juris so that you may know what law protects you from all these.
4. Humility - yes you've got the brains, the high EQ, but do you have this? anecdote: isang clerk inutusan ng nurse, clerk nagsabing "anong akala niyo sa akin? doctor ako nurse ka lang"...ayun ginawa ng nurse kinalat sa co-nurses sa other departments "yang clerk na yan bantayan niyo ha"....let's just say lalo lang naghirap sa buhay clerkship. remember..the hospital isn't run by doctors alone, that's why God created florence nightingale to assist the healers. this does not apply only to nurses, pati sa staff...food staff( yup kailangan talaga ito lalo na pag gwaping ka...may pagkamalambing kasi ung food cart man ung tipong darating sa clerk's quarters "andyan ba si gab? may dala lang ako sa kanya eh isang set meal" hehe totoo yun!), guards ("sir samahan ko na kayo pumara ng jeep dyan sa harap baka mahold-up kayo dyan eh"), etc...you need them they are your friends
5. Teamwork- exactly! need i explain more? let me just tell you why this is really needed: let's say 5pm ang off mo, eh from duty ang status mo (wala ka pang tulog), gusto mo na tlga umuwi...pagdating ng 5 bigla ka na umalis. tama nga naman kasi 5pm na and ur not obliged to stay longer....pero sino ang kawawa? the one who will replace you...di mo in-endorse ung patients mo...hindi tuloy na-carry out mga orders ng doctor so sino na-demerit? ung kawawang clerk na pumalit. nakapag rest ka nga pero in return nagkaroon ka ng kaaway...life will be harder...ü

6. the list can go longer and longer until you get bored and pati ako pagod na and maglalaba pa ako ng uniform ko which brings to my last addition sa list: Lots and lots of uniforms of course you will need a change of clothes, matatalsikan ka ng dugo, susuka patients mo, tas madadapa ka pa at napaupo sa canal...haaay kawawa tlga tayo. and in addition around 20 sets of underwear (side A side B included) hahahaha...

ohh well...at least this is from my point of view...what's yours?

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